Understanding Child Psychology

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Increasing familiarity with psychology of children is a daunting task indeed. You are expected to be really patient while trying to understand your child’s requirements. The following tips can help you to create a friendly relationship with your child while understanding him/her better:

Observance Is The First Key:

One of the best ways to under the psychology of your child is to observe his or her activities. This will help you to know the way he or she plays, eats food, draws, sleeps, communicates with others, and the like. You will find many traits that are consistent in nature. Observe whether your child is able to adjust to changes easily or takes time to settle down. Not all kids have similar traits as they tend to differ in personality. Remember that your child too will have a special personality.

Distinguish Your Role As A Parent And As A Friend:

You need to clarify your role as a parent and as a friend by setting a few limits on your own. You need to be a good friend at times because it would encourage your kid to have a pleasant interaction with you. Do not let your ‘parent-side’ take over while having a friendly conversation with your child. Instead, offer a wise judgment as a friend would do, without blaming your child for any mistake he or she might have committed. This is important because when you think like a parent, your judgment tends to get a bit different and would prevent the kids from discussing various issues further on. Make sure you don’t spoil your kid, but offer sufficient space to make him understand about your view too.

Spend Time With Your Kid:

When you spend very less time with your kid, you might not have an intimate relationship with him/her you have to spend more time with your child and get yourself involved in his life, know his friends and such. This would make him comfortable in discussing his issues openly with you. Whether you have a tight work schedule or an important meeting, set aside a few minutes, to stay in touch with your kid and let him know you are there for him.

Teach Your Child to be responsible:

This can be the toughest thing in your life as a parent. As a parent you have to make your kid realize his responsibilities at an earlier stage. This will help your child in the future. If your child pours milk in his mug without spilling, encourage his actions and praise him for being responsible. If your child puts back all the toys in the box after playing, it indicates he is responsible. Encourage your kid, as it would help him realize his responsibilities and be independent.

Listen To Your Kid:

Children expect their parents to take them seriously and listen to what they are saying. Listen to your kid without being judgmental. Understand his point of view and reasoning. If you do not agree to something, discuss with him what your concerns are. Do not make it into a blame game. Support and encourage him. If required, tell him that what he did was not good, but you still love him.

Instill Confidence In Your Kid:

As a parent, you are the main source of instilling confidence in your child. If your child has faced a first day at school, ask him or her about the school. Ask them what was taught and if he liked the teacher. Ask about any new friend your child may have made. Though making friends immediately is not an easy task, you can improve his or her confidence and prepare to face the new school in a better way.

Ask Your Kids’ Opinion in Some Family decisions:

Children feel really important if given a chance to be part of any decision making. It makes them more responsible, and you would be surprised at how mature they suddenly seem! If you are setting up a new home or rearranging the rooms ask your kid’s opinion and listen to what he says. You must understand the idea behind the opinion of your kid rather than judging the mistakes in it. This would offer the confidence in your kid to discuss about his decisions in smaller and bigger things. This in turn would help him make good decisions while he grows up.

Stay Updated about Your Child’s Interests:

Apart from monitoring your child’s development, you need to stay updated about his likes and dislikes as it would tend to change as he grows. Talk with your kid to know which subject he loves in school, the game he loves to play, his favorite TV show, movie stars, music, etc.Take him for a movie he is interested in or plan to go for a favorite match. This will help in nurturing a bond between you and your child. This would also help you understand your child in a better way.

Keep Your Promises:

Just as you teach your child to not break a promise, so should you! You must first make sure that you win your kid’s affection by keeping up the promises you make him. Whether it is a trip to the beach or a walk to the supermarket, make sure you keep your promises. This will encourage your child to always be honest.

Give Them Some Space:

This is something that most parents battle with. Each child needs his or her own space. Don’t barge your child’s life and be a hyperactive parent. Allow him to enjoy a bit of activity he loves, but be around to ensure they don’t go overboard. You can guide him whenever help is needed.

Ask Small Questions:

When you are interacting with your kid, you must remember to gather lots of information from him or her. This would help you to understand your child’s psychology. If you have small kids at home, their communication would be more of facial and body expressions than speaking it aloud. When you ask your kid small questions, it would be easy for him to answer and share his feelings. This will help you to know whether your kid is facing any issues at school like bullying, etc.

Allow Your Kid To Be A Kid:

Your kid is after all a child. Allow him or her to be. If he makes a mistake, let him learn from it. Do not have too many expectations. Tell him in a gentle way to be careful instead of banning an activity altogether.

Let Your Kid Take Time to Develop Social Skills:

Some kids can become very friendly with others while some may not be comfortable at all. Some kids develop social skills at an early age, while some would not develop it until a certain age. You can encourage your child to develop the social skills in a gentle way. Remember not to force him as he might take it in a negative way.

Understand Fears Or Apprehensions Of Your Kid:

When your child is apprehensive about certain things, do not label him/her as being afraid. Try and figure out the real issue that is bothering him. Help him overcome the fear by digging deeper and finding out what factor induced the fear. Even if your kid is not able to express the reasons behind the fear properly, you can try to bring out the real reason by letting your child express his inner feelings.

Explain Your Side:

If you have taken a decision that your child is not happy with, let him know the reasons that led you to take that decision. This way, you are helping him to grow up as a good decision maker. Even if it is about the time you have fixed for your child to get back home, you can tell him that you have concerns regarding his safety. Even if your kid is not happy with it at the moment, he would appreciate it as he grows into an adult.

Be Flexible:

It is good to set some rules and follow it. • You have to remember that there can be few exceptions when such instances arise. • You can bend a few rules at such occasions and make sure your kid stays happy and know that their happiness means a lot for you. • This rule can be applied while watching a match of your kid’s favorite sport or a popular movie that you are watching with him.

Discuss Your Interests To Avoid Arguments:

The main key to understand children psychology is to know what features are common between your kid and you. It might be food, music, games, subjects, hobbies or any other thing. Discuss about your interests with your kid and have a plan about how to develop it further and have fun. This would help you avoid small fights or big quarrels such as who is going to have the TV remote, or which place you should visit for a family vacation.

Don’t Stop Talking Even If Your Child Is Not Listening:

As a parent of a growing child, you will agree that your kid does not listen to whatever you tell him. Though he might argue with you, your advice would stay etched in his mind as he grows up. Even if he might not agree with what you say, the essence of your advice sticks on. So do not stop your advice session as it will help your kid as he grows and matures.

Enhance Self Esteem:

Creativity can influence kid’s psychology in a positive way. As a responsible parent, you can try to enhance your kid’s creativity through motivation. Hang up his artwork on the wall, frame them for your living room display or post them on your blog to encourage them further. This would help your child to build his self-esteem and concentrate more on his creative activities.

Create A Peaceful Sleeping Time:

Do not let your kid indulge in video games or watch TV before bedtime as it will prevent him from falling asleep faster. Offer a peaceful environment before he/she goes to sleep by setting the room with night lamps. You can also read out a story as a bedtime routine. If your kid gets enough amount of sleep, it is best for developing a positive attitude.

-Sradhanjali Dasgupta

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