When you are in conflict with your child

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Teenage is awkward as well as fascinating period for both youngsters and parents. It is a period of transition. Rapid Physical, physiological and psychological changes occur during this period. Teenagers seek autonomy, to establish identities of their own and their own value system.

 

PSYCHOLOGICAL CHARACTERISTICS OF TEENAGERS:

  • Question everything
  • Challenging, rebelliousness behaviors
  • Need for independence – preferences and choices in dress, daily routines, friends, food, leisure time activities
  • Moody
  • Concerns – emerging sexuality, self-image, self-identity, living up to expectations
  • Aspirations – education, career etc
  • Peer group identity
  • Open to community, media, influences
  • Hero worship

 

NEEDS OF TEENAGERS:

  • For a secure family base
  • Supporting, understanding and trusting adults
  • Healthy peer groups
  • Need for achievement
  • Need for appreciation
  • For privacy

 

POSITIVE PARENTING TIPS:

NURTURE – by being supportive, warm and encouraging.

DISCIPLINE – by teaching how to behave, set and enforce limits, and monitor behavior.

RESPECT- by encouraging teens to develop their own opinions and beliefs, model civility and allow privacy.

 

 

WHEN IN CONFLICT WITH YOUR TEEN?

  1. Don’t engage in “power struggles” that is about how to think, and who is right.
  2. Focus on the important issues of health and safety.
  3. Model the language and tone of voice you expect from your teen.
  4. Stay calm and remember you are in charge – You are the adult.
  5. Be realistic about how your teen acts – they simply don’t have the skills and experience you have in dealing with disagreements.
  6. Find ways to say “YES” as well as “no”. Look for common ground where you and your teen agree.
  7. Don’t forget your sense of humor – it’s your best tool for putting issues in perspective.
  8. Friends are very important to teens, parents need to balance family time and their teen’s time with friends.

Sradhanjali Dasgupta

Volunteer / Treasures of Innocence

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